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Monday, April 24, 2006

 

I'M KEITH HERNANDEZ
HE'S JUST FOR MEN
The 10 Spot rarely needs much of an opening to work in some Seinfeld quotes, but rarely has an opportunity been gift-wrapped as helpfully as this weekend's mini-sexist scandal involving the Mets broadcaster. During Saturday's Mets-Padres telecast, it seems, Hernandez was aghast to see a woman in the San Diego dugout. When it was pointed out to him later in the game that she was a team massage therapist, Hernandez didn't exactly back down. 'I won't say that women belong in the kitchen,' said the marvelously mustachioed one, 'but they don't belong in the dugout.' To quote Elaine Benes, 'I'd watch the third-base coach if I were you, because I don't think he's waving you in.' It looks like Hernandez blew right through that stop sign. Of course, we should have known he had a lot of nerve when he asked Jerry to help him move."

"COMEON...I Won The MVP IN '79"
Keith has shown himself to be a chucker. I guess that Padres attire that she had on wasn't a dead giveaway for the former MVP. He has said that he was trying to be funny with his "barefoot and pregnant" comments, but his humor seems to rival that of Johnny Burger King Foulke and Rocket "All the dry cleaners were closed when Korea played Japan in the WBC" Scientist Roger. Now go make me a turkey pot pie while I scratch my stomach.

-The Pulse Of Sports Nation

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